okay i found a notebook i wrote in last summer.
& even though i mostly don't feel this way anymore, or that problem is fixed,
i thought they expressed me really well. so here goes.
this one is just for fun.
may 13 09
she sticks to
me like glue.
we're torn apart
by race.
but we're bounded by color.
june 26
everyday is a chance
for a clean slate.
not to you.
but to me.
i'm okay now go on and be with her.
i'll be here, though:
good as new.
:)
august 3 09
do something so i'll never like you again.
something worse than breaking my heart.
cause that's not working.
but, why?
august 5 09
i wonder how it feels to be perfect.
or at least feel like your perfect cause all you do is
plan how to be perfect.
-----------------------------------------
i think i learned something.
it started when i was 13.
being the center of attention
and being the girl telling all the funny
jokes- i wanted that.
i exaggerated.
i pretended to fall.
acted like i was dumb.
and it worked.
i was known as the klutz. the crazy one.
and it stuck.
here's the thing.
i.don't.want.it.anymore.
i want people to take me seriously.
no one's gonna let me do
anything cause i'd break it...or damage myself.
all they say is, 'do you even know what it means?'
'your so dumb'.
i hate it.
& when i'm quiet.
they think i'm sad or depressed or something.
i don't want it anymore.
& i'm just waiting for the right time to fix it.
august 6 09
sometimes family bogs me down.
------------------------------
what's it called when you think some guys are cute
& you'd date them.maybe even love them and be happy.
but there's this one person who...is deep down, i don't know-
he's the guy your jealous over.the one your really self-conscience with.
cause that's my problem.
august 7 09
i like to laugh @ 10/11 year old girls, or guys, who have or want an iphone.
cause i remember when i was 10...all i wanted was a cd player.
geez-i remember the day i got one like it was yesterday.
august 16 09
she's clinging to him.
she needs him,
he has all her secrets.
can't let those secrets become everyday "fun facts": 'did you know...'
so she pulls harder.