24.3.11

what the beef?

i kinda get what avril lavigne -however you spell her last name- is getting at in her new song, as i call it "what the beef?" haha.

but she says shes been good her life and now she doesn't care.
thats what i felt today.
i'm tired of being polite around school, checking to see if someones behind me , whether i should hold the door, instead of immediately leaving the table after lunch i make sure everyone's left so i won't bump into people, saying sorry when clearly it's not my fault. being a person that's obviously invisible. clearly no one second guesses my appearance.

i so wish i could throw in the towel.
but no.
i let it hang on the rack...like a good little pastor's daughter.

"For the sake of Christ, then, I am content with weaknesses, insults, hardships, persecutions, and calamities. For when I am weak, then I am strong."

2 corinthians 12:10

Then again, maybe there is hope.