(some of this i'm redoing as i go. since i dont really like how i originally wrote this)
Jerry and Marcus were the first boys at church that were around my age in a while. possibly ever.
I fell for Jerry. I don't know how or why, but I did. Being in eighth grade I was in a mess. I claimed I was in love and we're meant to be and all that gooey junk. It was in the cartoons where big hearts are in your eyes. I couldn't see.Like Reality was the next exit and I forgot to get on and keep going.
In December of that year, I had my brother ask their sister, Lauren, if he liked me. I was dying.
"Oh he doesn't like ally, but Marcus does". I didn't believe it. There has to be a mistake. Maybe he keeps the feelings to himself or only his mom knows. Because I knew he looked at me.
Still, I followed Jolene.I watched her.Like I said,she must have been this way all along. In Great Expectations, it starts talking about chains forming. I think it lead to Joe was her new middle school. She told me when I was 7th grade"..Yea, I came and everybody was like 'Jolene huh? Hm, I'ma call you Joe." But, Joe was my comfort zone. I could say things just because Joe was there. So, it made it seem I was "normal" at least, and I was afraid of nothing; and the word 'vulnerable' was not even in my vocabulary...though I was weak on the inside.
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